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Recently, I had the rare opportunity to actually go to a theatre and see a movie. This exceptionally rare occasion is reserved only for special events, so like a lot of other people, I went to see The Dark Knight. At the Big Newport cinema, no less, where I saw The Empire Strikes Back on opening day in 1980.

So in case you haven’t noticed, eveyone’s talking about the Joker. And in case you haven’t seen the movie, of the 3 main theories competing in the form of the 3 main characters, his seems to be the most…..popular. Let’s compare:

1. Batman: Justice. But, flawed by self-interest (revenge). The other 2 theories plague him so deeply because they can both be blamed for his parents’ deaths.
2. Harvey Dent/Two-Face: Chance. In his mind, he cheated luck his whole life, and had a false sense of control of it. Thus, when chance renders him quite a blow, he ‘falls the hardest’, and wants someone to pay.
3. Joker: Chaos. As he puts it himself. Maybe, but at the very least a sort of ‘no rules’ philosophy that pits Justice and Chance against each other for nothing more than entertainment.

So there they are, our roshambo participants of the story. Why do people like the Joker so much? Because he seems to operate outside of Right and Wrong, and even outside of the laws of percentages. No Rules. The ultimate freedom. No punishment for destruction, no celebration for creation. Only pleasure and pain. Is this how we are born? Is this Original Sin? Is this what we all actually want in our deepest human core? Is this why it appeals so fundamentally?

Whether you be Communist or Capitalist, I think you can see that this appeal is inherent in the pure concept of the ‘internet.’ And as the internet gives way to even more exciting technologies, any effort from either Communists or Capitalists to ‘manage’ it and taint its Chaos will be met with possibly nothing short of a world wide Revolt, based upon our very base nature.

So maybe that’s it. The figurehead of the real World War III representing the ‘Free’ team is (drumroll…):

The only problem with that team is that they’ll be forced to organize (and therefore nullify their founding principle), or they will most likely take each other out for the fun of it while the other ‘team’ waits it out. So maybe this is why we augment our sense of self-preservation with the aknowledgement that everyone else has that same sense, and ultimately uphold ‘Right’ as not wiping each other out. Or maybe we are just afraid to be the one who actually attempts the Joker’s revolution, and ultimately end up…..alone.

And this was actually one of the few times my dad didn’t have a mustache.

He was approximately the age I am now in this picture.

How’s that for a title? Nice!

I’ve been goin’ on and on about this stuff for a while now, so, if we’ve been hanging out, you’ve heard me speak of these theories. They relate mostly to dudes, because frankly, that is the world I know (what a surprise).

Gang Theory: There is some great good that comes from being part of a Gang. Obviously, a lot of bad, as well, but I grew up watching the Little Rascals (otherwise known as Our Gang ). Maybe you did, too. In other terms it might be known as a ‘crew’. But, it’s still just a Gang. And what it means is having a group that you can join up with, depend on, fight with, fight other people with, seek refuge in, get into trouble with, get OUT of trouble with, make music with, win sporting events with, and on, and on. The bonds of a Gang like this are deep, and men need them.

Pub Theory: Men need to go to work. We gotta be out there, doin’ something in the jungle. It’s the way of things. And the stress that this builds up (the testosterone this creates in our system) is easily dealt with by one very special something: nothing. Doing nothing, to be precise. Vegging. Heard of it? I’m sure you have. That’s right, it’s biological folks, so get over it. When a guy gets home from work, and wants to sit in front of the t.v. with a beer for a while, he’s fulfilling a natural scheme, and processing his hormones correctly. I recommend the Pub for this. It exists in most other countries. In every local township, a local Pub. A place to sit, watch, hoist a pint, talk if you want, or not. A buffer. Deny a man this, and be sure to enjoy yet another night of grumbling irritability, followed by years of pent-up frustration. Don’t have time to go to the pub and still get home by dinner? Then stop working earlier. Your job won’t allow that? Then you might be in the wrong job, for the wrong reasons, which usually means over-doing it to support a lifestyle your type of work just can’t afford. If you can’t hit the Pub, then at least be sure to ask for some time to be un-bothered when you arrive home from the trenches. A ‘virtual pub’, if you will.

Cheers Theory: This one my wife reminded me of recently. According to her, it is not so gender specific. A place where everyone knows your name. A place where you have a ‘usual’. I have no idea why this is true, but it certainly rings true to me. If you grew up watching Cheers, then its a no-brainer. And strangely, I only know of a few people who have put it into practice. I am not one of them….yet.

My philosophical career has devolved into the pitiful, but economical state of a loose series of mildly-founded theories. So be it.

The best thing about the above theories is that they all can work together and intertwine. Our current society provides a great opportunity for people to make choices that will lead them to anonymity and social islandism. Why do we do this to ourselves? We regard solitary confinement as the ‘worst’ type of jail cell, yet that seems to socially happen one way or another to people, mostly by their own choice, and isn’t helped by the lack of care from others.

The internet has helped with this a bit. Let’s put it this way, there are dudes who may not fit in to some of the normal socially organized groups, but have put Gang Theory to good use by playing World of Warcraft. So, whatever it takes, get yourself a Gang. Hit the ‘Pub’ after work. And support your local whatever by going there often enough to be on a first name basis and get a Usual. Better yet, do all three at once.